Trail 404 Run, September 8th
09-08-2007, 10:54 PM
#43
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09-09-2007, 12:13 AM
#44
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So the story goes.
Note: Artistic embellishment may have been added for effect here and there.
The trail was angry today my friend...
Both 404 and her evil sister "Will it fit" wanted nothing more than to hold all five rigs back, but to no avail! We persevered, now slightly wiser and perhaps more wary of trails led by Elvota. Also having a thorough understanding that Elvota may be a bit off on what is considered a "trail" to most people in the first place.
Elvota (that's me) was first to be tested as decomposed granite massaged my drivers side rear quarter panel and efficiently removed my tail light. Nothing quite matches the sound of sheet metal crinkling and plastic popping. I realized I may be sickly addicted as the grinding was music to my ears and a smile crept across my face. This was going to be a good day... for me at least.
Section 1 of "Will It Fit" was ready to go as was I, now twisting up in the approach, lifting a wheel towards the heavens.
The huge chunk of roughly hewn and welded steel hanging off the back of my 4Runner resembling a bumper began to carve gracefully along the stone. Backing up once or twice to reposition seemed impossible, but even solid rock gives to overbuilt steel eventually. Once through section 1, I was on to do another ridiculously unnecessary wheelstand through section 2. A slight line adjustment and it was over... "Will It Fit" had yielded once more.
Kent's monster Taco slipped through almost effortlessly, probably due to the fact that I had already slayed the beast... or maybe he's just a better driver with a way flexier better built rig. We may never know.
Onto the easier 404 and soon it was obvious there had been a slight discrepancy in the max allowable width that would fit through "Spare Tire Canyon". The Monster Taco was soon spreading the narrowest section with heavy steel wheels turning constricting rock to dust.
404 fought back though, and an ancient dead branch reassembling hardened steel lay waste to the passenger side of the Discovery... holding the vehicle fast. With the Taco grinding away, and the gnashing teeth of serrated blade... both rigs where soon free... for now.
Dah dah dummmm.......
The ascent up a hill basically comprised of loose bowling balls and across the ridge line where uneventful... lulling us all into the sense that the worst was over. Back down into the next wash, SOAZtim was ready to stretch his baja legs a bit. In front now, his incredible skinny pedal finesse finally let him down. A tight corner seemed to shrink before his very eyes and suddenly he found his bumper kissing stone. Handling the damage in good spirits, it was only moments later that a billowing white cloud escaped from under his hood. The fear of an engine fire lept to the front of our minds, but found after popping the hood it was a simple terminal short of the battery. We also located a pair of dykes which had mysteriously gone missing the night before during some maintenance activities. Very curious.
After lunch in the shade and a short hike up a tight side box canyon, 404 beckoned yet again. Once easy sand had been carved by the rain, now exposing the rocks below. Previously, a wise man had marked the trail for difficulty, and it was suggested those with less clearance heed the warnings of the orange tape. All but one respected the tape. All but one....
Schaefer and the 28'r turned a deaf ear towards the warning. Choosing the restricted route, good 'ol 28 was light at foot, guided by a skilled hand gracefully slipping through. Then suddenly, one of the most amazing things happened. In one foul swoop, that hellcat known as 404 slipped the little "Yota That Could" sideways, instantaneously high centering both front and rear diffs simultaneously! There she was, all four magnificent 28" tires hovering above the sand, teetering helplessly.
You must respect the tape... you must respect the tape!!
After some frustrating Hi-Lift finagling... and some general ribbing... Schaefer was free only to do an equally incredible full front bumper stuff/ rear bumper bury/ rear axle anti-gravity hang moments later. Impressive to say the least!!
Almost out now, 404 refuses to quit and throws down the final gauntlet. Once unnoticed stones have risen and become fierce boulders. Lines that used to make sense are now jumbled mounds of diff grabbing aggression. It was here that the Discovery was flogged mercilessly... and seemed to love ever minute of it. As a testament to the Land Rover's strength, fully open diffs spun and burned... grasping for any traction that could be found without fail. This is also the point where the ruby-red Disco received it's final scar... a bad hit to the low driver side door. Our collective heads hung a little lower.
The final gate keeper. All rigs had to pass an off camber dirt mound with a seemingly insatiable desire to throw us all to the 20' boulder just left of the trail. An utter hatred for clean sheet metal... it was relentless. At speeds barely detectable to the human eye, each one of us crept through... clearing the menacing obstruction by mere inches... and sometimes far less. Each vehicle changed the line slightly, with SOAZtim providing the biggest thrill as a rock shifted mid attempt, throwing him very close to the unforgiving granite. After a few deep breaths and removing the seat cushion clenched between his cheeks... the pristine and basically stock green 4Runner came through without a mark. Five rigs through... no paint left behind... a clean victory for the final step.
With respect, 404 finally relented and offered a flat piece of sand in the shade for all to air up and lick our wounds. All had new scars to show. The magnificent beast of a Taco had the least, with the Disco taking the brunt... but wearing it very well. Those little 28" tires had let some rocks between the bead and rim, which mandated a tire swap once back on asphalt. More efficient than a Nascar pit crew, 10 hands flew between jack and tools, lug nuts and rubber... and faster than seemingly possible the 28'r was streetable and ready for the trip home.
Well now... that was a little long and over the top... but you did ask...
All in all... a great day. Hopefully all who came out enjoyed the trail. I felt it had a bit for everyone, maybe a bit to much in parts... but five rigs with no mechanicals is a pretty good result to me. Now you all know what's out there, I guess we'll have to do it backwards and in the dark next time.
The trail was angry today my friend...
Both 404 and her evil sister "Will it fit" wanted nothing more than to hold all five rigs back, but to no avail! We persevered, now slightly wiser and perhaps more wary of trails led by Elvota. Also having a thorough understanding that Elvota may be a bit off on what is considered a "trail" to most people in the first place.
Elvota (that's me) was first to be tested as decomposed granite massaged my drivers side rear quarter panel and efficiently removed my tail light. Nothing quite matches the sound of sheet metal crinkling and plastic popping. I realized I may be sickly addicted as the grinding was music to my ears and a smile crept across my face. This was going to be a good day... for me at least.
Section 1 of "Will It Fit" was ready to go as was I, now twisting up in the approach, lifting a wheel towards the heavens.
The huge chunk of roughly hewn and welded steel hanging off the back of my 4Runner resembling a bumper began to carve gracefully along the stone. Backing up once or twice to reposition seemed impossible, but even solid rock gives to overbuilt steel eventually. Once through section 1, I was on to do another ridiculously unnecessary wheelstand through section 2. A slight line adjustment and it was over... "Will It Fit" had yielded once more.
Kent's monster Taco slipped through almost effortlessly, probably due to the fact that I had already slayed the beast... or maybe he's just a better driver with a way flexier better built rig. We may never know.
Onto the easier 404 and soon it was obvious there had been a slight discrepancy in the max allowable width that would fit through "Spare Tire Canyon". The Monster Taco was soon spreading the narrowest section with heavy steel wheels turning constricting rock to dust.
404 fought back though, and an ancient dead branch reassembling hardened steel lay waste to the passenger side of the Discovery... holding the vehicle fast. With the Taco grinding away, and the gnashing teeth of serrated blade... both rigs where soon free... for now.
Dah dah dummmm.......
The ascent up a hill basically comprised of loose bowling balls and across the ridge line where uneventful... lulling us all into the sense that the worst was over. Back down into the next wash, SOAZtim was ready to stretch his baja legs a bit. In front now, his incredible skinny pedal finesse finally let him down. A tight corner seemed to shrink before his very eyes and suddenly he found his bumper kissing stone. Handling the damage in good spirits, it was only moments later that a billowing white cloud escaped from under his hood. The fear of an engine fire lept to the front of our minds, but found after popping the hood it was a simple terminal short of the battery. We also located a pair of dykes which had mysteriously gone missing the night before during some maintenance activities. Very curious.
After lunch in the shade and a short hike up a tight side box canyon, 404 beckoned yet again. Once easy sand had been carved by the rain, now exposing the rocks below. Previously, a wise man had marked the trail for difficulty, and it was suggested those with less clearance heed the warnings of the orange tape. All but one respected the tape. All but one....
Schaefer and the 28'r turned a deaf ear towards the warning. Choosing the restricted route, good 'ol 28 was light at foot, guided by a skilled hand gracefully slipping through. Then suddenly, one of the most amazing things happened. In one foul swoop, that hellcat known as 404 slipped the little "Yota That Could" sideways, instantaneously high centering both front and rear diffs simultaneously! There she was, all four magnificent 28" tires hovering above the sand, teetering helplessly.
You must respect the tape... you must respect the tape!!
After some frustrating Hi-Lift finagling... and some general ribbing... Schaefer was free only to do an equally incredible full front bumper stuff/ rear bumper bury/ rear axle anti-gravity hang moments later. Impressive to say the least!!
Almost out now, 404 refuses to quit and throws down the final gauntlet. Once unnoticed stones have risen and become fierce boulders. Lines that used to make sense are now jumbled mounds of diff grabbing aggression. It was here that the Discovery was flogged mercilessly... and seemed to love ever minute of it. As a testament to the Land Rover's strength, fully open diffs spun and burned... grasping for any traction that could be found without fail. This is also the point where the ruby-red Disco received it's final scar... a bad hit to the low driver side door. Our collective heads hung a little lower.
The final gate keeper. All rigs had to pass an off camber dirt mound with a seemingly insatiable desire to throw us all to the 20' boulder just left of the trail. An utter hatred for clean sheet metal... it was relentless. At speeds barely detectable to the human eye, each one of us crept through... clearing the menacing obstruction by mere inches... and sometimes far less. Each vehicle changed the line slightly, with SOAZtim providing the biggest thrill as a rock shifted mid attempt, throwing him very close to the unforgiving granite. After a few deep breaths and removing the seat cushion clenched between his cheeks... the pristine and basically stock green 4Runner came through without a mark. Five rigs through... no paint left behind... a clean victory for the final step.
With respect, 404 finally relented and offered a flat piece of sand in the shade for all to air up and lick our wounds. All had new scars to show. The magnificent beast of a Taco had the least, with the Disco taking the brunt... but wearing it very well. Those little 28" tires had let some rocks between the bead and rim, which mandated a tire swap once back on asphalt. More efficient than a Nascar pit crew, 10 hands flew between jack and tools, lug nuts and rubber... and faster than seemingly possible the 28'r was streetable and ready for the trip home.
Well now... that was a little long and over the top... but you did ask...
All in all... a great day. Hopefully all who came out enjoyed the trail. I felt it had a bit for everyone, maybe a bit to much in parts... but five rigs with no mechanicals is a pretty good result to me. Now you all know what's out there, I guess we'll have to do it backwards and in the dark next time.
Last edited by Elvota; 09-09-2007 at 08:30 AM.
but I think you have a little too much time on your hands.
09-09-2007, 08:31 AM
#47
Contributing Member
Thread Starter
09-10-2007, 03:04 PM
#49
Contributing Member
Thread Starter
I have thought about building up a website about local trails as well as my truck mods.
I know I liked reading about your trips to Baja and Escalante. Nice to be able to explore vicariously when your stuck working.
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