I have a 2004, 4wd, v6 xtra cab tacoma with the trd package.. here's my problem

Got the truck after the last owner had locked the stock rear axle and then it would not unlock. It Still wouldn't unlock, and yes I know it was locked because the wheels were chirping around every corner.. and because I had to unlock by hand.
I removed the actuator, clamped the main gear in leather and it turns fine, feels spring loaded? doesn't seem to be any issues there.. I tested the wiring at the ecu, it all checks out.. the red wire with black stripe has power with button pressed in (according to my manual the "rear diff power"?). I did the grey wire mod, which worked I got the blinking light and power no matter what mode.
But the actuator Won't Budge when plugged in and removed from axle. And No wire in the rear has power with the button pushed or not...
I followed the wiring to the cab from the rear it all looks fine, all of the lights work...
I've read here and there something about the main heater relay having something to do with the locker but I don't understand that nor do I know how to test that.

Any Help appreciated Greatly