Serious Question For Yall

chunderboy · 10-28-2004, 12:16 PM

Ok, so i was seeing this girl for about a month now. Things have been going well. Have a good time with each other, the "relations" is great and we can't keep our hands off each other.

Problem Time:

Last weekend she
A invited me to her holloween party
B. after having "relations" we were lying together and she said that "we are really good together.

That kinda makes a brother fell good, until this week. I actually had a moment to myself, thought about being lucky that i found a cool chick, and decided to her tell her i felt the same way.

She seemed soooo excited that i told her, then she called me...
She felt really weird inviting me to her party, cuz if i was there she would have to introduce me as a "boyfriend", and i told her straight out, that i don't need a title, just wanted to chill. Then i reminded her, that she asked me. I didn't invite myself. Then the truth came out.

She had broken off her engagement with another dude about a year ago and i guess she kinda freaked out. I mean we talked all the time and everything was good until i told her, the same thing about enjoying each others company. Then i had the idea that we should take some time from each other, and she said "are you ending it with me" which kinda made me feel bad, i think it was for the best. Man, women are so efing hard to understand. The thing is i really like this girl, and i dont want stuff to end, but do you think she is totally out of relationship mode cuz of the "ex" thing.

P.s i haven't had a serious relationship in like 2 years

Any suggestions? All are welcome

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TDiddy · 10-28-2004, 12:20 PM

Suggestion #1: post this in off topic!

chunderboy · 10-28-2004, 12:23 PM

since people were posting stuff about turning 21 and the election, i didn't think it would be a problem. Next time i will post on "off topic"

Sorry

TDiddy · 10-28-2004, 12:27 PM

All that other stuff is in off-topic.... Don't worry about it, one of the mods from this section will move it.

As far as the chick, call her in a week, see where she's at.

chunderboy · 10-28-2004, 12:32 PM

Had some spare time, so i thought i would just put it out there.

You play hockey for club

rimpainter.com · 10-28-2004, 12:34 PM

Here's a novel idea, copy your original message to your clipboard, delete the thread, start a new thread in OT, and paste your message.

Try that.

chunderboy · 10-28-2004, 12:37 PM

If that will make you happy I will. Had no idea that would bother so many people, but none the less, consider it done

chunderboy · 10-28-2004, 12:39 PM

how do you delete a thread

HaveBlue · 10-28-2004, 12:46 PM

I would recommend taking her to Hooters as in my thread

jacksonpt · 10-28-2004, 12:53 PM

OK... I've read your post like 5 times and I still don't know what you're trying to say.

You've known this chick for a while, she broke off her engagement, the two of you got together, she's hesitant to have a serious relationship... is that the jist of it?

What is wrong with a casual relationship? Have fun together, hook up, whatever when you both feel like it - if you don't feel like, go do something else.

It sounds like you feel the need to be in a comitted relationship, or "take some time from each other". Why? Just go with the flow - be grateful for the time you have with her and take advantage of the time when you're not with her. What's the big deal?

rimpainter.com · 10-28-2004, 12:55 PM

How old are you Chunderboy?

chunderboy · 10-28-2004, 01:00 PM

i must have sent that thread to 10 people. ya see, as with the gas, it is always a supprise, i never know when it is coming. But you my friend, you have a leg up ( no pun intended)

rimpainter.com · 10-28-2004, 01:02 PM

Watchu talkin about Willis?

chunderboy · 10-28-2004, 01:03 PM

your totally right. that is why i told her that i don't need that title isht. But she still got all bugged out. I am totally cool with just hooking up and having a good time. but that all stopped when she thought about inviting me to her party as her boyfriend.

But as for me, i am all about just coolin' with her. But i am not adverse to the idea of being with someone either.

chunderboy · 10-28-2004, 01:03 PM

27 and still wondering how women work.

Mrs. Crash · 10-28-2004, 02:56 PM

It sounds to me that until you admitted how you felt she felt in control of the "relationship" therefor she could make herself believe that it was just fun, nothing serious etc.. Then that means less guilt for her getting involved with someone so soon after a broken engagement. You don't want to start feeling anything for someone after a serious relationship. You admitting you had feelings for her made her lose the control and she backed away. Now it's not just her feelings she has to consider.

Flygtenstein · 10-28-2004, 04:28 PM

First, I appreciate the dedication to content.

Second, give up trying to figure chicks out. That is an endless, winding road. Have fun with people who are there to have fun, I mean no innuendo with that.

If the chick is freaked by commitment and you want it, then ditch her or resolve your issue, you will not be able to change her.

Psycho women are usually going to be psycho regardless of if they hang with you or your bro's. Don't think you have made her crazy, just let it go.

chunderboy · 10-29-2004, 08:31 AM

Thanks boys, really appreciate it. I guess your right, i can't be her "friend" and therapist at the same time.

Plenty of fish in the sea, I guess

Good Times · 10-29-2004, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flygtenstein

First, I appreciate the dedication to content.

Second, give up trying to figure chicks out. That is an endless, winding road. Have fun with people who are there to have fun, I mean no innuendo with that.

If the chick is freaked by commitment and you want it, then ditch her or resolve your issue, you will not be able to change her.

Psycho women are usually going to be psycho regardless of if they hang with you or your bro's. Don't think you have made her crazy, just let it go.

Adrian, that sounds like you've been in the deep end and got burned eh

Women are a different creature and as much as all might feel that we understand them, we really don't. It's a hit and miss thing, just enjoy their company and if it doesn't work out, there's abunch more out there.

chunderboy · 10-29-2004, 10:07 AM

She does, doesnt she. Then answer me this, why does she still send me emails and text messages after she ended it. The stuff basically says that " i am sorry for hurting you never ment to, and isht like that. Why keep sending me that stuff if she isn't feelin' a brudda?

slyang1012 · 10-29-2004, 10:33 AM

if you dont mind me asking, why did she break off her engagement?..

chunderboy · 10-29-2004, 10:48 AM

not at all brudda. She broke it off b/c her fiance's mom was trying to run everything and run the marriage and all the wedding plans etc etc. And i guess that happened about a year or so ago. But she called it off not him. that is why i just thought it was weird for her to totally to a 180 like that in a matter of like 2 days. just sucks cuz she was a sweet cool girl.

Guess time to start that isht all over again with someone else

PirateFins · 10-29-2004, 02:24 PM

Why not just ask her if you can be friends with privileges. Everybody wins!!!

Flygtenstein · 10-29-2004, 02:35 PM

Yes, I am young and single.

Yes Lance, I have gotten scorched by a couple of chicks who gave one impression but acted in another.

If you live like all you need is the shirt on your back, you won't have to sweat things like this. If she doesn't dig you, ease on down the road. Pretty simple. If you really "love" her and she is the greatest in the world, she won't make you do stupid crap like dealing with this.

A wise man once told me there is a woman on every corner. He was on his 4th wife, but you get the picture.

10-28-2004, 12:34 PM	#6 (permalink)
rimpainter.com Contributing Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 10,797	Here's a novel idea, copy your original message to your clipboard, delete the thread, start a new thread in OT, and paste your message. Try that. __________________ www.rimpainter.com Get your O Gasket Mod Here! My SC'd 4Runner's Profile My YouTube vids

10-28-2004, 12:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
HaveBlue Contributing Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Colorado Posts: 2,667	I would recommend taking her to Hooters as in my thread __________________ Alan *1996 Supercharged 4Runner Limited* Hi Altitude 4Lo A 4WD club for Colorado and surrounding states

10-28-2004, 12:53 PM	#10 (permalink)
jacksonpt Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Binghamton, NY Posts: 2,753	OK... I've read your post like 5 times and I still don't know what you're trying to say. You've known this chick for a while, she broke off her engagement, the two of you got together, she's hesitant to have a serious relationship... is that the jist of it? What is wrong with a casual relationship? Have fun together, hook up, whatever when you both feel like it - if you don't feel like, go do something else. It sounds like you feel the need to be in a comitted relationship, or "take some time from each other". Why? Just go with the flow - be grateful for the time you have with her and take advantage of the time when you're not with her. What's the big deal? __________________ Jackson - My Site 96 SR5 4x4 - 33" MTs, open diffs, and 3.90s - LET'S ROCK! My runner has bee traded in sniff on an 06 SR5 long bed d-cab Tacoma. The tacoma is nice, but... sniff ... I'll update my site when I'm done grieving.

10-28-2004, 12:55 PM	#11 (permalink)
rimpainter.com Contributing Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 10,797	How old are you Chunderboy? __________________ www.rimpainter.com Get your O Gasket Mod Here! My SC'd 4Runner's Profile My YouTube vids

10-28-2004, 01:02 PM	#13 (permalink)
rimpainter.com Contributing Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 10,797	Watchu talkin about Willis? __________________ www.rimpainter.com Get your O Gasket Mod Here! My SC'd 4Runner's Profile My YouTube vids

10-28-2004, 12:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
TDiddy Contributing Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Urbandale, IA Posts: 7,113	Suggestion #1: post this in off topic!

10-28-2004, 12:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	since people were posting stuff about turning 21 and the election, i didn't think it would be a problem. Next time i will post on "off topic" Sorry

10-28-2004, 12:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
TDiddy Contributing Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Urbandale, IA Posts: 7,113	All that other stuff is in off-topic.... Don't worry about it, one of the mods from this section will move it. As far as the chick, call her in a week, see where she's at.

10-28-2004, 12:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	Had some spare time, so i thought i would just put it out there. You play hockey for club

10-28-2004, 12:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	If that will make you happy I will. Had no idea that would bother so many people, but none the less, consider it done

10-28-2004, 12:39 PM	#8 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	how do you delete a thread

10-28-2004, 01:00 PM	#12 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	i must have sent that thread to 10 people. ya see, as with the gas, it is always a supprise, i never know when it is coming. But you my friend, you have a leg up ( no pun intended)

10-28-2004, 01:03 PM	#14 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	your totally right. that is why i told her that i don't need that title isht. But she still got all bugged out. I am totally cool with just hooking up and having a good time. but that all stopped when she thought about inviting me to her party as her boyfriend. But as for me, i am all about just coolin' with her. But i am not adverse to the idea of being with someone either.

10-28-2004, 01:03 PM	#15 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	27 and still wondering how women work.

10-28-2004, 02:56 PM	#16 (permalink)
Mrs. Crash Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Gold Bar, Wa Posts: 437	It sounds to me that until you admitted how you felt she felt in control of the "relationship" therefor she could make herself believe that it was just fun, nothing serious etc.. Then that means less guilt for her getting involved with someone so soon after a broken engagement. You don't want to start feeling anything for someone after a serious relationship. You admitting you had feelings for her made her lose the control and she backed away. Now it's not just her feelings she has to consider. __________________ 1987 Toyota 4 runner. 33's, 3" superlift, Internal smittybuilt roll cage, nerf bars, heavy duty skid plate, optima, arb bull bumper, Pioneer cd and speakers and thanks to my husbands exhaust job I now have vibrating seats :P Last edited by Mrs. Crash; 10-28-2004 at 04:41 PM.

10-28-2004, 04:28 PM	#17 (permalink)
Flygtenstein Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 4,246	First, I appreciate the dedication to content. Second, give up trying to figure chicks out. That is an endless, winding road. Have fun with people who are there to have fun, I mean no innuendo with that. If the chick is freaked by commitment and you want it, then ditch her or resolve your issue, you will not be able to change her. Psycho women are usually going to be psycho regardless of if they hang with you or your bro's. Don't think you have made her crazy, just let it go.

10-29-2004, 08:31 AM	#18 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	Thanks boys, really appreciate it. I guess your right, i can't be her "friend" and therapist at the same time. Plenty of fish in the sea, I guess

10-29-2004, 10:07 AM	#20 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	She does, doesnt she. Then answer me this, why does she still send me emails and text messages after she ended it. The stuff basically says that " i am sorry for hurting you never ment to, and isht like that. Why keep sending me that stuff if she isn't feelin' a brudda?

10-29-2004, 10:33 AM	#21 (permalink)
slyang1012 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Diamond Bar, CA Posts: 572	..... if you dont mind me asking, why did she break off her engagement?..

10-29-2004, 10:48 AM	#22 (permalink)
chunderboy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 91	not at all brudda. She broke it off b/c her fiance's mom was trying to run everything and run the marriage and all the wedding plans etc etc. And i guess that happened about a year or so ago. But she called it off not him. that is why i just thought it was weird for her to totally to a 180 like that in a matter of like 2 days. just sucks cuz she was a sweet cool girl. Guess time to start that isht all over again with someone else

10-29-2004, 02:35 PM	#24 (permalink)
Flygtenstein Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 4,246	Yes, I am young and single. Yes Lance, I have gotten scorched by a couple of chicks who gave one impression but acted in another. If you live like all you need is the shirt on your back, you won't have to sweat things like this. If she doesn't dig you, ease on down the road. Pretty simple. If you really "love" her and she is the greatest in the world, she won't make you do stupid crap like dealing with this. A wise man once told me there is a woman on every corner. He was on his 4th wife, but you get the picture.

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