Ironmike4x4

My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year, well just about 2 months ago her step-dad ran out on her mom. Her sister is in the army so her mom is supposed to be taking care of her niece, but mainly its my girlfriend taking care of her. She is only 19 and has so many responsibilities on her. Her mom has just lost it and has threatened suicide, they are really running low on money, her mom's car and her only transportation is just on the fritz no matter how many times i work on it something else needs to be fixed. Tonight she and I were on the phone and she told me last night she felt just like running away and still feels like doing so. I asked her what would her niece, mom, and i would do without her. Her reply was "ya'll will eventually get over it." OUCH! I am at a loss of what to do about this. I've been diagnosed with depression a year and a half ago and have been on therapy/medication since. I have not had any major bouts of depression since. Now this is just getting me down. No matter how hard I try to make things the best for her and her family it doesnt seem to help. What should I do? Please help.

This ad is not displayed to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on Yotatech!

__________________
1998 4Runner SR5, Surco Safari rack, diff breather mod, Cobra WXST II CB radio, 31" Winston ATs, clear corner/bumper lens, hitch mount backup lamps, PCV catch can.

Pretacopower

Sounds like her mom needs professional help, has she sought it out? With the recent loss of a husband and the added responsibility of another child, any human being would likely need guidance. I'd find a way to help her get help.
Seems to me like the best thing you can do is be there for your g/f and her family, and from what you've written it sounds like you've been there for them all along. People tend to say irrational things that they don't always mean when they're under this kind of stress, and I'm sure your g/f really does appreciate you being there. Whether she realizes it right now or not.
Whatever you do, don't carry the weight of the entire burden on your shoulders. Sounds like your g/f is lucky to have someone there for her that cares and that's the best thing you can do.
Hang in there man

__________________
---Ryan---
1999 V6 2WD (locked) Tacoma Prerunner

Ironmike4x4

I've offered help for her mom and talked to my own therapist about programs for financially unable families and she gave me some info. I told my gf's mom about it and she turned it down. They are both very pridful women and dont want anyone's help so I cant really force that on them or anything. My gf is saying to quit trying and I cant when I love her and want to help.

__________________
1998 4Runner SR5, Surco Safari rack, diff breather mod, Cobra WXST II CB radio, 31" Winston ATs, clear corner/bumper lens, hitch mount backup lamps, PCV catch can.

X2and4X

dang man that sucks. My first thought is to get out of there. but, im sure its not that easy. I think her mom needs to seek help.

__________________
CALL BEFORE YOU DIG. Make my job easier. Please.

Bryan

phorunninduke

My dad gave me only a few words of wisdom with women, but I believe they are good ones.

Use your big head
Don't knock em up before you can afford it
Take a good look at her mother, in 20 years thats what
you will have - exspecially if you mess up #2
Don't date people with more problems than you
Her family comes with her
worst thing for a relationship is family and friends

stevrock

__________________
-Steve H.

88 4Runner: 22RE, 5 speed, soft top, 3" body lift

Ironmike4x4

I dont even know anymore guys. I guess my therapist can help maybe.

__________________
1998 4Runner SR5, Surco Safari rack, diff breather mod, Cobra WXST II CB radio, 31" Winston ATs, clear corner/bumper lens, hitch mount backup lamps, PCV catch can.

grams72

You can only help those who want help.

__________________
1990 4Runner SR5
3.Slow, Automatic, Air Intake Mod, Magnaflow muff
31's, Pro Comp ES9000
Autocommand Remote Start
Removed = Running boards, lower rear quarter, rear bumper

FilthyRich

and rememeber to take care of yourself. I know you want the best for your g/f and her family, but if you lose it too, then all is lost. Be the rock you seem to be for your girl. If you love her, TELL HER!!!!!!!!!!! Take care and I wish the best for you

__________________
Eric

88 4runner

Ironmike4x4

How can I be the rock for her when she wont even let me help. I always tell her I love her because I want it to be the last thing I ever tell a person whether it's my family or my girlfriend. At least work gets everything off of my mind. I wished girls were like cars, when there is a problem you can fix it then I would be a master.

__________________
1998 4Runner SR5, Surco Safari rack, diff breather mod, Cobra WXST II CB radio, 31" Winston ATs, clear corner/bumper lens, hitch mount backup lamps, PCV catch can.

Ironmike4x4

I know I know but I love her and would do anything for her. I want to help no matter what. I've always tried to be the type of guy to help anyone in need.

__________________
1998 4Runner SR5, Surco Safari rack, diff breather mod, Cobra WXST II CB radio, 31" Winston ATs, clear corner/bumper lens, hitch mount backup lamps, PCV catch can.

phorunninduke

How old are you?
I aim not trying to be smart or make a deal out of it or anything, but i know from personal exsperaince that when your young love and girls are not what you think it is about.
You have your entire life and health to look out for. I am sure your a nice guy and the type that could love any girl - but if they are unrecepting you are not helping them or yourself.

You gotta know when to walk away.
You need to find a girl that is not only capable of receiving your love, but can give you love in return

fustercluck

mike, i don't know you. after what i'm about to say, that will be a good thing. not knowing you will give it credibility.......

you need to leave skidmarks on your way out of that situation. i don't know how old you are but i'd guess you are young. being in a depressive mode makes it even worse. you need to take care of you. your girlfriend needs freedom. that's what she's telling you. i wouldn't take it personally.

you will find someone else with out all of the life complicating issues. when you do, you'll be glad you were free to seize the opportunity instead of being tied down to a life of problems and limitations.

there is ony one thing more regretful than missed opportunity anf that is regret of a poorly thought out decision.

__________________
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
John Stuart Mill
English economist & philosopher (1806 - 1873)

Ironmike4x4

Yeah I am beginning to think I need to do just that, "walk away." Yes I am young at 21, I guess it's lack of experience since I never started dating until i was a senior in High School and she was the 2nd person I seriously dated since then. I care a lot for her and really hate how badly things are going for her, but it dont seem like she needs/wants me there for her. At least I still have my true love of work. Thanks guys...

__________________
1998 4Runner SR5, Surco Safari rack, diff breather mod, Cobra WXST II CB radio, 31" Winston ATs, clear corner/bumper lens, hitch mount backup lamps, PCV catch can.